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Monday, July 16, 2018

What They Don't Tell You About Shoulder Surgery (humorous anecdotes)



Superior Capsular Shoulder Reconstruction and Bicep Tenotomy


That's the fancy name of my surgery that I received July 2, 2018. It all started with a fall on crutches January 18, 2017 at my home and progressed to chronic pain and debility with my right arm. Although I researched  and watched videos of the surgery, nothing can quite prepare you for the actuality of daily life after the surgery!

Let's began with the nerve block that they put into your NECK to numb you for over 24 hours during and after surgery. If I had known I could ask that they do it after I was already under, I would have. That was not an auspicious beginning to the procedure.  And the aftermath of the block is that you have an entire side of your body numbed for quite awhile and when it starts to "wake up" it hurts like hell ya'll. Like snow cold fingers times 100 coming back to life!

Of course the surgery can be done laparoscopically  and may be 3 insertion sites in your shoulder. Nope I came out with 8 holes and a plethora of stitches. Ok, I can deal. Until, when you are coming to in the PACU, that they place that sling of death, that you MUST wear at all times unless showering. There is no instruction manual on how to wear the thing and you are too groggy to remember any instructions whatsoever. YouTube videos were my educational research and now I can safely say, I'm a pro at this thing. (Well sort of).

Let's move on to the activities of daily living, the most basic of self care; that you now must do one handed AND with the non-dominant hand. Brushing my teeth left handed was awkward but quickly learned. Toilet duties were AWFUL. Washing my hair in the shower was miserable, not counting that I had to style said hair after the shower. I had to get an electric razor for my legs as ya'll it's hotter than hades here in Texas and I am not about to walk out with stubbly legs (well didn't care the first week).

One handed makeup was so not working and I will try again later, because I can't be bothered at the moment. Throw on a lippie and out the door. If I attempted mascara with my left hand I would probably have to have eye surgery to repair the self injury *sigh. Clothing you ask?? I am unable to wear a bra, because I can't get the dang thing on; so I'm wearing big loose t-shirts that cover and wear with the sling. Such a lovely sight I am. You have to bend over, hang your bad arm down, and slowly pull the arm hole up and the head hole over and then slowly put your other arm in and swoop it on and stand straight. Sounds easy? Ha! And the toilet duties? Ever tried to pull down or pull up your panties one handed? The side you are attempting to bring up will always roll and you have to wiggle around to get it all together. My nightdresses always FEEL like they are down but alas, look in the mirror ladies because that picture of the dress caught in the panties look? EVERY. STINKING. TIME.

I'm here to tell you, that I have lost 5.5 pounds from not being able to eat with my right hand! So this is a PLUS lol. Watching the hubby do the laundry is TORTUOUS, seeing him cook dinner and leaving the kitchen stacked with dishes is driving my OCD bonkers. But at least he's trying, bless his heart. Having someone to tie my tennis shoes so I can walk with my neighbor to continue this losing weight thing, makes me feel like a kindergartner!

I've been sleeping on the couch because it supports me best, and have a comfy spot to read, do daily paperwork etc. The hubby has threatened to move the couch in the bedroom because he can't sleep well without me (his obnoxious snoring says otherwise :).

There is only one other thing that is probably the WORST problem I have, (besides constipation from the narcs), my hair. Specifically, it's past my shoulders and I would love to throw it up in a clip to let air to my neck. There is NO throwing of any hair into a clip and trying to do it one handed well, let's just say I am possibly going to get an emergency cut today. There might be a market for those of us who are rendered armless temporarily or permanently, that will help you get your hair up if you don't have a ready helper! Any suggestions ya'll? Because again, my hubby tried, bless his heart.

Hope you enjoyed this light hearted whine about my shoulder surgery! Tomorrow is first post-op visit with possible stitch removal and that does NOT sound good at all *sigh.

Love ya, Bye
Sherry P

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